Amanda Bynes shares her regret

Former child star Amanda Bynes talked with Paper Magazine about her struggle with substance abuse.

Posted: Nov 28, 2018 7:00 AM
Updated: Nov 28, 2018 7:00 AM

Four years after a series of troubling arrests and Twitter rants, Amanda Bynes is ready to talk about what happened.

"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said," Bynes told Paper magazine. "I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad. Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter. It's definitely not Twitter's fault -- it's my own fault."

The former child star, who rose to fame in the '90s on shows like Nickelodeon's "All That" and "The Amanda Show," said she's been sober for four years and is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

In 2014, Bynes was sentenced to three years on probation in a plea deal that resolved a drunken driving charge. As part of the deal, she also was required to attend an alcohol education course and pay a fine.

She continued to make headlines that year for a series of shocking tweets that included false accusations of abuse against her father.

"Everybody is different, obviously, but for me, the mixture of marijuana and whatever other drugs and sometimes drinking really messed up my brain," Bynes explained. "It really made me a completely different person. I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter."

Related: Amanda Bynes' bipolar diagnosis turns murky

She said the combination of marijuana use and a shift in her schedule contributed to her spiral.

"I just had no purpose in life. I'd been working my whole life and [now] I was doing nothing," Bynes continued. "I had a lot of time on my hands and I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long ... [I] was just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting ... I never did heroin or meth or anything like that but certain things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a more harmful way."

Around the same time, following a psychological evaluation and hospitalization, Bynes tweeted -- and later deleted -- that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the Paper interview, she said she does not have a mental illness.

"It definitely isn't fun when people diagnose you with what they think you are," Bynes said. "That was always really bothersome to me. If you deny anything and tell them what it actually is, they don't believe you. Truly, for me, [my behavior] was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of [drugs], I was always back to normal. I know that my behavior was so strange that people were just trying to grasp at straws for what was wrong."

Bynes said she hopes to release a clothing line and eventually get back into acting. She also hopes her experience will serve as a cautionary tale for others.

"Be really, really careful because you could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did," she said.

Mississippi Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Confirmed Cases: 15523

Reported Deaths: 734
CountyConfirmedDeaths
Hinds100625
Lauderdale73862
Madison72423
Scott65012
Neshoba64639
Jones62928
Forrest56438
DeSoto5427
Rankin4398
Holmes42928
Leake42712
Copiah3124
Jackson30813
Attala29817
Yazoo2814
Newton2714
Leflore26431
Lincoln26329
Harrison2587
Monroe25725
Oktibbeha23912
Lamar2385
Lowndes2119
Pearl River20931
Wayne2041
Pike20311
Adams19915
Noxubee1866
Washington1787
Warren17310
Covington1652
Jasper1634
Bolivar16211
Lee1536
Smith15211
Kemper14411
Clarke14418
Lafayette1364
Chickasaw13512
Coahoma1254
Carroll11711
Winston1171
Marion1159
Clay1124
Claiborne1112
Lawrence1021
Simpson1010
Tate941
Grenada943
Yalobusha935
Hancock9111
Wilkinson889
Itawamba877
Montgomery851
Sunflower843
Union835
Marshall833
Jefferson Davis773
Tippah7311
Panola713
Webster692
Calhoun654
Amite641
Humphreys607
Walthall560
Tunica553
Prentiss533
Perry503
Choctaw432
Jefferson421
Pontotoc353
Quitman330
Tishomingo320
Stone300
Franklin292
Tallahatchie271
George251
Alcorn171
Benton150
Greene131
Sharkey70
Unassigned00

Alabama Coronavirus Cases

Confirmed Cases: 18018

Reported Deaths: 644
CountyConfirmedDeaths
Mobile2239116
Jefferson1837102
Montgomery171040
Tuscaloosa78315
Marshall6939
Franklin5567
Lee54833
Shelby51720
Tallapoosa42765
Butler41118
Chambers35525
Walker3542
Elmore3548
Madison3394
Baldwin2909
Morgan2801
Dallas2723
Etowah25711
DeKalb2483
Lowndes24612
Coffee2361
Sumter2247
Autauga2214
Houston2204
Bullock2095
Pike2030
Colbert1842
Hale1739
Russell1710
Marengo1706
Barbour1671
Lauderdale1642
Calhoun1603
Choctaw1538
Wilcox1487
Clarke1442
Cullman1430
Randolph1277
St. Clair1231
Marion12211
Pickens1164
Dale1150
Talladega1135
Limestone1060
Chilton1011
Greene944
Winston900
Macon824
Henry802
Covington801
Jackson782
Crenshaw753
Bibb751
Washington706
Escambia633
Blount621
Lawrence500
Geneva430
Conecuh411
Coosa401
Monroe402
Perry390
Cherokee373
Clay272
Lamar260
Fayette160
Cleburne151
Unassigned00
Tupelo
Clear
72° wxIcon
Hi: 87° Lo: 66°
Feels Like: 72°
Columbus
Clear
72° wxIcon
Hi: 88° Lo: 69°
Feels Like: 72°
Oxford
Clear
70° wxIcon
Hi: 85° Lo: 62°
Feels Like: 70°
Starkville
Clear
72° wxIcon
Hi: 86° Lo: 63°
Feels Like: 72°
WTVA Radar
WTVA Temperatures
WTVA Severe Weather