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Donald Trump's Christmas in July -- and 37 other memorable lines

President Donald Trump traveled to Tampa, Florida, on Tuesday night for the latest in a rapidly increasing n...

Posted: Aug 2, 2018 10:10 AM
Updated: Aug 2, 2018 10:10 AM

President Donald Trump traveled to Tampa, Florida, on Tuesday night for the latest in a rapidly increasing number of campaign rallies for Republican candidates running for office this November. This time, Trump was supporting the gubernatorial bid of Rep. Ron DeSantis, who has benefited mightily from Trump's endorsement and is now considered the favorite in the August 28 Republican primary.

I went through a transcript of Trump's remarks and pulled out the ones that really stood out to me. They're below.

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1. "Oh, that's too bad, that's too bad. That's too bad. That's too bad. One person -- one person, and tomorrow the headlines will be, 'Massive protests.' "

Within seconds of Trump beginning to speak, a protester disrupted him. And -- spoiler alert! -- the headline wasn't "MASSIVE PROTESTS DISRUPT TRUMP RALLY." And away we go!

2. "In fact, it was gone, until one gentleman decided at 2 o'clock in the morning."

It's an accepted staple of Trump's current stump speech that he will take this extremely thinly veiled shot at Arizona Sen. John McCain for voting against the so-called "skinny repeal" health care bill. And, yes, Trump has kept this line in his speech even as McCain, a prisoner of war in Vietnam, battles brain cancer.

3. "I have Eric Trump, who's been fantastic. He loves this political stuff."

Earlier in the day, on the way to Florida, deputy White House press secretary Hogan Gidley was asked why Eric Trump was along on this trip. "I don't know," he replied. Good times.

4. "We have a big thing happening because you know this -- look at all those hats. White ones, red ones, they all have the same thing, 'Make America Great.' "

Red ones! White ones! And, yes, Trump makes mention of all the people wearing "Make America Great Again" hats in the crowd at each of his campaign speeches.

5. "I also want to thank David Bossie for being here, Corey Lewandowski for being here, two of our great supporters."
Lewandowski, as you know, is Trump's former campaign manager, who remains in the fold as an adviser. Bossie is the man behind the Citizens United lawsuit and was deputy campaign manager in the closing months of Trump's 2016 campaign.

6. "It was actually done quite easily. We won quite handily. We were never left-center stage."

The 2016 election ended 630 days ago -- as of last night. Also, the reference to having "never left-center stage" is him talking about how he was often in the middle of the stage -- thanks to his standing in the polls -- during the Republican primary process.

7. "And I said, 'I always want odd numbers.' Because I want to be in the center. I didn't want to be tied for the center."

Yes, Trump always wants to be in the center. By himself. With all eyes on him. Which is why the people pushing the idea that Trump hates the job and won't run for re-election should be totally ignored.

8. "Look at all those cameras right there."

He is always, always, always aware of being on TV and how much buzz whatever he is saying is drawing. It's his lifeblood.

9. "They are fake. No, I mean, do you believe -- look at this: Every night, it's the same thing."

The reason the coverage of Trump has a similar ring to it is because Trump does the same sorts of things -- tweets that explode the White House message, threats to foreign leaders, score-settling against political opponents -- every day.

10. "They just can't get enough. They can't get enough. They cannot get enough."

Trump means this as a shot against the media but, in truth, he absolutely loves all the media attention. Loves it.

11. "So we're setting records like never before."

What does this apply to? Who knows! Everything?

12. "You guys are great. Thank you. Blacks for Trump. They say, 'Blacks for Trump.' "

"Look at my African-American over here! Look at him." -- Trump, June 2016

13. "Sorry about this, women, but the employment rate has reached the lowest level in only 65 years. It'll be history soon."

I am so confused. What is Trump "sorry" for here?

14. "But everyone that reached me says hello, Mr. President, congratulations on what you've done for the economy. It's the talk of the world, talk of the world."

To Trump's telling, every single world leader he meets says this to him. If it is true -- which, um, maybe? -- it's likely the result of the fact that Trump has made very clear that the way to his heart is through an unrelenting fusillade of compliments.

15. "Now that we have the best economy in the history of our country. ... "

Um, no.

16. "We won every farm state, you're going to see that middle of that map -- wasn't even the middle, it was about everything but a little corners of each side. But you have to see, that is all red, Republican red, beautiful, Republican red."

It's hard to be totally sure what Trump means by a "farm state." But this 2017 list of the states with the most farms shows that Trump won seven of the top 10. He lost California (#5), Minnesota (#8) and Illinois (#9).

17. "Farms have been on a decline, I mean it's been for 15 years."

Again, not sure exactly what measurement Trump is using here. But it is true that in February farm income hit its lowest point in 12 years.

18. "I'm not like other politicians."

FACT CHECK: True!

19. "One of the brilliant pundits that has a -- doesn't have a clue. I mean, these people, how they have gotten us wrong."

"One of the dumber and least respected of the political pundits is Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post @TheFix. Moron hates my poll numbers." -- Donald Trump, May 12, 2015

20. "Dump all you want. I hope you dump a lot."

He's talking about steel dumping. By other countries.

21. "I tell the story, I was in New York and I shake hands."

"Barbaric." -- Donald Trump on shaking hands

22. "You know, polls are fake, just like everything else."

I don't have anything funny to say. Just go back and read those nine words. And remember that the President of the United States said them. And a decent-sized group of Americans applauded.

23. "Remember, I said, when I'd be a little bit wild, and we'd have a lot of fun, they'd say, 'He's not acting presidential,' and I'd say, 'Well, it's a lot easier to act presidential than to do what I do.' Anybody can act presidential."

Trump followed this riff by walking woodenly back and forth across the stage. Modern-day presidential!

24. "Ladies and gentlemen of the state of Florida, thank you very much for being here. You are tremendously people, and I will leave now, because I am boring you to death. Thank you."

"Presidential" Donald Trump.

25. "Abe -- Abe looked pretty presidential, right? What do you think? He's tough. He's tough. I admit it: Abe Lincoln is tough. But we love Abe Lincoln."

Many historians have said Abe Lincoln is tough. But we love him.

26. "And on top of that, the Democrats -- Nancy Pelosi, the whole group, Maxine -- Maxine. She likes me a lot. She likes me a lot."

"I think he's the most deplorable person I've ever met in my life." -- Maxine Waters on Donald Trump

27. "You know, if you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID."

This is, as anyone who has ever been to a grocery store knows, not true. White House press secretary Sarah Sanders was asked about this line during her briefing on Wednesday; she explained that Trump was referring to showing a driver's license when you try to buy alcohol at a grocery store. Riiiiiiiiight.

28. "In this country, the only time you don't need it in many cases is when you want to vote for a president, when you want to vote for a senator, when you want to vote for a governor or a congressman, it's crazy, it's crazy."

One other time when you don't need your ID: when you buy non-alcoholic groceries.

29. "Remember I said it's awfully early to be thinking this, but I always think it, remember the attack on 'Merry Christmas,' they're not attacking it anymore. Everyone is happy to say Merry Christmas, right? Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas."

Satire is dead. This line killed it. RIP, satire.

30. "They came out and they voted 84% and doubled and tripled the numbers that ever voted in an election before. We love the evangelical Christians."

It was 80%. But, honestly, close enough. We love the evangelical Christians!

31. "We want to be a puppet for no one any longer."

"No puppet. No puppet. You're the puppet." -- Donald Trump to Hillary Clinton, October 2016

32. "I've got a lot of fun, even in Florida, I've had a great career, I've had a lot of fun."

Even in Florida!

33. "And I didn't know anybody in Washington, but now I know everybody in Washington. I know the good ones. I know the bad ones. I know the wonderful people and I know the scum. And America now is winning again like they haven't won before."

So, yeah. That all makes perfect sense to me. [jerks collar nervously]

34. "Brett Kavanaugh, highest education, best grades, best tests, best everything."

The key credential to becoming a Supreme Court justice is having the "best tests." It is known.

35. "I've also directed the Pentagon to begin the process of creating the sixth branch of our military, the Space Force -- building the space force."

SPACE! FORCE! Also, I got you this T-shirt. I hope you like it.

36. "Instead of apologizing for America we're standing up for America. We're standing up for the heroes who protect America and, yes, we are proudly standing up for our great National Anthem."

If you needed to explain Trump and how he appeals to his voters to an alien, I would nominate these two sentences.

37. "This may be, in fact it probably is, the greatest movement in the history of our country."

Yes, President Trump, the civil rights movement would like a word ...

38. "We're going to keep on winning. We're going to win so much and the people of Florida actually love, don't they? They love it."

Who doesn't love winning? Not me!

Mississippi Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Cases: 294091

Reported Deaths: 6669
CountyCasesDeaths
DeSoto19626230
Hinds18745386
Harrison16618278
Rankin12662264
Jackson12509224
Lee9679160
Madison9432199
Jones7928146
Forrest7184136
Lauderdale6813226
Lowndes6017137
Lamar586880
Lafayette5721113
Washington5205130
Bolivar4604122
Oktibbeha440693
Panola428893
Pearl River4144129
Warren4124113
Pontotoc408469
Marshall401892
Monroe3982126
Union394974
Neshoba3782168
Lincoln3508100
Hancock343874
Leflore3367118
Sunflower317686
Tate301774
Pike299795
Scott293170
Alcorn291261
Itawamba289374
Yazoo287962
Coahoma277367
Tippah276765
Copiah276357
Simpson273878
Prentiss269558
Leake252271
Wayne252241
Marion251978
Covington248478
Grenada246677
Adams233877
George231245
Newton227552
Winston221475
Jasper212945
Tishomingo211965
Attala206269
Chickasaw200951
Holmes181770
Clay178550
Stone171929
Tallahatchie170439
Clarke169171
Calhoun157528
Smith152531
Yalobusha143737
Greene127433
Walthall123640
Noxubee122829
Montgomery121838
Perry121534
Lawrence119621
Carroll118124
Amite111232
Webster110230
Jefferson Davis101531
Tunica98923
Claiborne98129
Benton93324
Humphreys92527
Kemper89723
Quitman77114
Franklin75919
Choctaw69516
Wilkinson62326
Jefferson62027
Sharkey48817
Issaquena1676
Unassigned00

Alabama Coronavirus Cases

Cases: 492683

Reported Deaths: 9930
CountyCasesDeaths
Jefferson709061374
Mobile36044725
Madison32355455
Tuscaloosa24093410
Montgomery22536501
Shelby21892215
Baldwin19714283
Lee14950153
Morgan13641251
Calhoun13232286
Etowah13163319
Marshall11250209
Houston10073261
Elmore9371185
Limestone9353134
Cullman8891181
St. Clair8813223
Lauderdale8594211
DeKalb8441175
Talladega7511163
Walker6514255
Jackson6487102
Autauga624891
Blount6095127
Colbert6000118
Coffee5238102
Dale4637107
Russell403930
Franklin398977
Covington3953106
Chilton3868100
Escambia377272
Tallapoosa3581142
Clarke343650
Chambers3406110
Dallas3401141
Pike293272
Lawrence282684
Marion281695
Winston246567
Bibb244960
Geneva239070
Marengo235355
Pickens224454
Barbour211351
Hale209468
Fayette200256
Butler195666
Henry182241
Cherokee176838
Monroe166139
Randolph163640
Washington156435
Crenshaw144354
Clay143854
Macon141743
Cleburne137339
Lamar132533
Lowndes130851
Wilcox121625
Bullock116736
Conecuh106724
Perry105527
Sumter98331
Coosa88823
Greene87532
Choctaw55023
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